Well now I've completely slacked off for 3 weeks or so I think. Oh well, I'm a busy person and it's not like I owe it to anyone who may possibly read this blog a post or something. I write for myself, you just are lucky enough to have access to my thoughts.

In the past month, nothing has changed yet everything is different. My role at the studio has gone from primarily a student with a couple classes to teach, to a teacher who's also taking dance classes. I have a key to the studio. I'm not to call them Miss and Mr. anymore except when students and parents are around; they're now just Jo, Dustin, and Brad. Brad is ordering official ADMA business cards for me. I'm a part of decision making around there =] I'm so excited with where my future is going!

In my last post I ranted and raved all the questions in my head about my life and the choices I have. I also came to a decision that I wouldn't let you know what it was. Well, here it is; I'm not going to college, and I'm staying with the studio forever. I've never felt this right or happy about anything in my life. I know it's the right choice for me =] I'll admit at first even after making my decision that I was a bit frightend, but I'm not anymore. I'm 100% sure about this.

Thanksgiving went well. Not much to say about it though. Sarah, Tony, Rob, Grandmom, and Robs mum came over. We watched movies and talked and had the typical thanksgiving dinner. The end.

I'm so eager to get back to classes this week! I enjoyed the break but at the same time I was just so sad not to have Jo yelling about legs needing to be higher and toes pointed and what not haha. We had Elite practice todady, and I think that went well but I'm a bit nervous about my solo and duet. The duet isn't even finished and we're performing in a week. YIKES! And I was rushing through my solo and forgetting parts and the floor was just so slippery I couldn't hold anything. It was a disastrous practice on my part. Hopefully it's better on saturday, since that's when we perform.

I was put in charge of the performance on Saturday, too. At least until Jo can get there. She has to teach a class and we have to be in Cleveland at the same time, so I'm to make sure everything goes well until she gets there and that everyone is doing what they're meant to. It's exciting =]

I had to teach a LOT of classes at the studio recently because Jo was sick. I had tons of fun with all the girls and leading the classes =] I'm really looking forward to having more classes in the future to lead =D

I just got new pointe shoes, 5 pairs of tights, 2 pairs of shorts, 3 pairs of leggings, a dance sweater and 4 new leotards. It was SO exciting! I just love getting new dance clothes =] Probably a good $350-$400, but SO worth it. The pointe shoes themselves were $100. I got Gaynor Mindens this time. They're way prettier, have a cleaner cut, and supposedly are longer lasting. But I really miss my Bloch Aspirations. I wish they hadn't died =[ Maybe they weren't as elegant looking, I didn't look as tall and my feet didn't look as long, slender, and graceful, but they were just so comfortable and fun. Why is it that as soon as pointe shoes are comfortable and broken in, it's time for new ones???

I suppose that's all for now. Perhaps I'll write some poetry and post that for your prying curious eyes. I feel my inspiration renewed, and my muse awakened. That's all for now
Rocky xoxo

Alright world, so it's been about a week and a half since I posted last. I'd like to inform you that something exciting has happend, that there's something really interesting to write about, but that is not the case. I'm just living my typical life still. I got my college application into Case Western Reserve University though =] Only 39 days left until I know what the future holds, and even then I wont have a clue what's in store for my life.

Speaking of not knowing what's in store for the future, I am so confused! There's about 5 different paths I could go down right now, all completely life altering and I have no idea which I'll be lead to take. Every single one is my choice, but at the same time not really. I'm learning that I believe in destiny; I just don't know what mine is yet. You cannot imagine how frustrated I am by this though! I just want to look into a crystal ball and see where I'm supposed to be in 5 years, or what the different lives I could have are based on decisions made today. Is going to college the right choice for me? Is it better to just skip further education altogether and stick with ADMA 100%? What is my role supposed to be for the studio and the people there? Should I skip college, stick with ADMA, and do something else simple like cosmetology or phlebotomy or something as a side job?

These are just a fraction of the questions keeping me up all night every night. I can't even get into some of them. I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do! I think I know where I'm supposed to go and what my future holds, but I'm nervous that it's the wrong choice. What I'm leaning towards has potential for TONS of drama and life-long changes. I've really had to question almost everything I know about me this past week. I know what I want to do, I know what I think I should do, but I can't decide if it's worth the risk. And what if I'm right, what if my decision is the answer and I walk away from it cause I decide there's too much controversy for me to deal with? Then what? Am I left to live a miserable life that isn't meant for me because I abandoned my true destiny???

Can you see why I haven't slept in a week? I'm so conflicted! And I have until tomorrow to figure it all out. I'm sorry I'm being vague, but I can't afford to be anything else.

Aside from that, things are going really well. I took the SAT for the 2nd time yesterday. Pretty sure I did worse considering I fell asleep during one of the sections. Oh well, that's life right? At least my 1st scores were really good (I was just hoping to make them better). Dance is going phenomenally! I'm really well on my way to being somebody in the dance world. If not a performer, I know I'll be a world-class teacher and/or choreographer. I just feel it in me.

WHOA! Decision that's been frustrating me for a week now made JUST NOW. the one I've been ranting about. In my last 2 sentences it all became clear to me where my life is going, what I want, and where I'm supposed to be. Such a weight suddenly lifted. But I now know that the next 5-10 years are not going to be easy. But I'm ready. Maybe I'll sleep better tonight. I hope.

So today at church I attended a seminar on stem cell research. Ya know, I wasn't aware that there were other kinds than just embryonic stem cell research being done? But there's adult stem cell research as well. And did you know that they can take the cells from a 60+ year old and regenerate them to be like that of a 15 year old?! In theory we can elongate a persons life!!! Although that isn't to say the quality of life would be as good as that of a younger person. There are so many moral implications to all of this as well. And embryonic research has never produced results, where as adult stem cell research has provided cures for things. MIND. BLOWN. I didn't know any of that! It has definitely left me with a lot to think about.

Alright, well I guess that's about it for now. I gotta go work on some stuff before Leone picks me up and we go to frisbee (first time in like 2 or 3 months for me). TTFN!

XoXo <333

Rocky