Alright world, so it's been about a week and a half since I posted last. I'd like to inform you that something exciting has happend, that there's something really interesting to write about, but that is not the case. I'm just living my typical life still. I got my college application into Case Western Reserve University though =] Only 39 days left until I know what the future holds, and even then I wont have a clue what's in store for my life.

Speaking of not knowing what's in store for the future, I am so confused! There's about 5 different paths I could go down right now, all completely life altering and I have no idea which I'll be lead to take. Every single one is my choice, but at the same time not really. I'm learning that I believe in destiny; I just don't know what mine is yet. You cannot imagine how frustrated I am by this though! I just want to look into a crystal ball and see where I'm supposed to be in 5 years, or what the different lives I could have are based on decisions made today. Is going to college the right choice for me? Is it better to just skip further education altogether and stick with ADMA 100%? What is my role supposed to be for the studio and the people there? Should I skip college, stick with ADMA, and do something else simple like cosmetology or phlebotomy or something as a side job?

These are just a fraction of the questions keeping me up all night every night. I can't even get into some of them. I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do! I think I know where I'm supposed to go and what my future holds, but I'm nervous that it's the wrong choice. What I'm leaning towards has potential for TONS of drama and life-long changes. I've really had to question almost everything I know about me this past week. I know what I want to do, I know what I think I should do, but I can't decide if it's worth the risk. And what if I'm right, what if my decision is the answer and I walk away from it cause I decide there's too much controversy for me to deal with? Then what? Am I left to live a miserable life that isn't meant for me because I abandoned my true destiny???

Can you see why I haven't slept in a week? I'm so conflicted! And I have until tomorrow to figure it all out. I'm sorry I'm being vague, but I can't afford to be anything else.

Aside from that, things are going really well. I took the SAT for the 2nd time yesterday. Pretty sure I did worse considering I fell asleep during one of the sections. Oh well, that's life right? At least my 1st scores were really good (I was just hoping to make them better). Dance is going phenomenally! I'm really well on my way to being somebody in the dance world. If not a performer, I know I'll be a world-class teacher and/or choreographer. I just feel it in me.

WHOA! Decision that's been frustrating me for a week now made JUST NOW. the one I've been ranting about. In my last 2 sentences it all became clear to me where my life is going, what I want, and where I'm supposed to be. Such a weight suddenly lifted. But I now know that the next 5-10 years are not going to be easy. But I'm ready. Maybe I'll sleep better tonight. I hope.

So today at church I attended a seminar on stem cell research. Ya know, I wasn't aware that there were other kinds than just embryonic stem cell research being done? But there's adult stem cell research as well. And did you know that they can take the cells from a 60+ year old and regenerate them to be like that of a 15 year old?! In theory we can elongate a persons life!!! Although that isn't to say the quality of life would be as good as that of a younger person. There are so many moral implications to all of this as well. And embryonic research has never produced results, where as adult stem cell research has provided cures for things. MIND. BLOWN. I didn't know any of that! It has definitely left me with a lot to think about.

Alright, well I guess that's about it for now. I gotta go work on some stuff before Leone picks me up and we go to frisbee (first time in like 2 or 3 months for me). TTFN!

XoXo <333

Rocky